


I'm in Love With Your Honor

by www_creedthoughts_gov



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Established Relationship, F/M, Poetry, Some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/www_creedthoughts_gov/pseuds/www_creedthoughts_gov
Summary: They had built a life together in the city. Work is great, Gran-Gran is in excellent health, her brother is getting married soon."Fuck."Breathe in.Breathe out.Shit. Don't cry.Katara feels like she can't breathe. She knows everything will be fine, but she can't let go of the fear.Old wounds are slow to heal, but Katara knows that she'll be okay with Zuko by her side,
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	I'm in Love With Your Honor

**Author's Note:**

> Rundown of my Zutara Cinematic Universe: I messed around and made them a little closer in age. Katara is 26 and Zuko is 27. They have been dating for three years.
> 
> The song that inspired it all, [Blood Bank](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpFUc8ABDMQ)
> 
> WARNING Jane Eyre spoilers. And Jane Eyre fans, judge me. 
> 
> A special thank you to [goldenbuckyhours](https://goldenbuckyhours.tumblr.com/) and [Jay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonchild1998/pseuds/moonchild1998) for being amazing beta readers

“Fuck”

Breathe in

Breathe out

_Shit. Don’t cry._

Katara looks up to the painted ceiling of the stairwell to force the tears from building further. She quickens her pace to the apartment since she isn't sure she can handle forced pleasantries with their neighbors. 

_Spirits, why do I have to be so damn friendly._

Just get inside and figure this shit out. 

The last flight was an odd juxtaposition, simultaneously feeling like Mt. Everest but also going by in a blur. Once she’s able to get through the entrance, Katara quickly darts inside leans back against the door, and takes a deep breath. 

Only silence greets her.

Katara removes her work flats. The chill of the floor against her bare feet offers some relief. She feels grounded. Taking a moment to collect herself, Katara goes through the motions of her usual routine. She hangs up her purse and sets her keys in the little blue bowl by the door with a soft clink. 

‘Normal. Everything’s fine. You’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna be fine. There’s no reason to freak out Zuko. You just gotta get it together.’

She decides that a glass of water might help and swiftly moves to the kitchen. Only the sound of her soft footfalls and the hum of the refrigerator fill the one-bedroom apartment. Continuing her deep breathing, Katara leans against the kitchen and focuses on the feel of the cool water. Which provides some semblance of relief for the lump in her throat. Blue eyes dart around the small kitchen, finally landing on the fridge. What stares back is a picture of her and Zuko on their most recent trip to the Southern Water Tribe. She can’t help but smile at the memory. 

* * *

_The windchill nipped at her face, but the sting was familiar and comforting. She faces the fading sunlight to warm herself. Zuko was not faring as well, but still holding up. The smile that broke out couldn't be contained at the sight of the glow of his pink cheeks and nose. She gives him a quick peck on the nose._

_“Thank you, but Katara, as much fun as it has been building snowmen with your neighbors’ children,” he pauses with another wind gust and his next words are emphasized by chattering teeth, “I. am. Freezing.”_

_He looks incredulous as she throws her head back and laughs at him._

_She was so happy to see how well he fit in with the community. Her Gran-Gran had asked him to help make dinner with her the night before, which made it clear to all that she had his approval, which in all ways except for legal definitions, he was a part of the family. What had surprised Katara the most was that the children had taken a liking to him. She was always caring for the younger kids in the community and was used to their attention. But they had wanted Zuko to play with them, which he happily obliged. She knew he was going to wake up with a sore back tomorrow from all those piggyback rides he’s given out._

_Her train of thought comes to a stop at the sound of her brother’s voice._

_“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. Y’all are adorable.”_

_Sokka interrupts the moment, trudging over after losing a 7 on 1 snowball fight with the kids. He keeps swatting at his hair to get the snow out._

_He continues on, “Katara, your boyfriend is freezing his butt off, the sun is starting to set, show some mercy, and take him inside.”_

_She can’t stop giggling as Zuko emphatically nods in agreement with her brother._

_“The man’s got a point, Katara.”_

_Katara pretends to ponder this, “Hmmm. I don’t know, you seemed to be having a lot of fun helping little Malina build her snowman, his snow-wife, and their snow-kids. But I guess I’ll have to concede unless we want the village overrun by snow people.”_

_She pauses for a moment before yelling at Sokka, “Hey! Can you get one last picture of us so I have proof Mr. Fire Nation here can make it in the Southern Water Tribe!”_

_“Hey!”_

_Sokka busts out cackling at his friend’s expense “Ooohhh good call! And it’s golden hour. So picturesque!”_

_Zuko grabs Katara’s middle pulling her back to his chest and tells her, “You’re lucky I love you and don’t put ice down the back of your shirt.”_

_They both smile for the camera at the sound of Sokka’s voice. “One. Two. Three. Otter-penguin!”_

* * *

This was one of her favorite pictures of them. The moment is held up by an aquarium magnet Katara got at a promotional event at work, sharing space with a recent drawing done by their young neighbor Kiyi. 

She promptly bursts into tears. 

_Shit._ Deep exhale. _Get it together._

Katara focuses on steadying herself and the frantic beating of her heart. Once she finds some semblance of calm, Katara sets down her glass and makes her way to the bedroom. 

They had moved into the space after three years. She remembers the decision fondly. Her lease was ending and Suki was planning on moving in with Sokka. She was considering rooming with some other aquarium employees, which she casually mentioned to Zuko over dinner. Without much thought, Zuko asked her to move in with him. He knew he loved her. They had been dating for two years, the timing is right, and they could look for a one-bedroom in the city. However, she didn't understand a word he said since his mouth was full of dumplings. 

Despite her current distress, Katara’s mood does brighten a bit at the memory. That man is all action with very little thought sometimes. 

In their room, Katara removes her work clothes and makes her way to the closet. She starts digging for some sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She eventually uncovers one of Zuko’s old college sweatshirts that she’d stolen from him. The old crew neck was a comforting sight. Loved with age, the yellow lettering was beginning to crack revealing the navy blue beneath.

* * *

_It was actually a nice day, which magically lines up with the lulls in their schedules. They had decided to hang out at the campus’ main glade. Katara wandered down to the large expanse of trimmed grass in front of the library where their group of friends sat._

_Everyone slowly left as the day went on, leaving just Katara and Zuko in the last legs of the afternoon. She was laid out on her stomach in the grass, propped up finishing Jane Eyre. She remembers taking a moment to study Zuko in front of her since he was engrossed in his own reading. He was on his back, using his backpack as support for his head. The setting sun bathed him in a golden light, his features more striking, ethereal. _

_To be completely honest, Zuko laid out like some sun deity from an ancient myth, he looked extremely seductive._

_Katara tried not to stare and return to Jane and Mr. Rochester, but he must have felt her eyes on him._

_“How’s your book?”_

_Katara’s eyes snap back up, trying to act as though she hadn’t been checking him out for the past two minutes._

_“Oh, yeah, uh, really good. I love_ _Jane Eyre_ _. I’m on the last couple pages.”_

_He sets his book down and turns to face her better._

_“What’s happening? I’m curious.”_

_Katara smiles as she closes the worn book, “Jane, after running away, learns to stand on her own and comes into her own money, making her financially independent. She finally finds Mr. Rochester, after discovering he was in a horrific accident. He fears her rejection now that he is blind and poor, but she explains that she has loved him all along, never for his looks or money. Now they have married and have a baby boy.”_

_He gives her a soft smile, “That’s a really sweet ending. I like that.”_

_Breaking the spell of the moment, Katara asks him what he’s reading._

_“Um,” suddenly very flustered and shy, only looking at the book in his hands. “Uncle has always loved poetry. I started reading some of his books when I was a senior in high school. Helped me a lot.”_

_She already knew how hard that time was and knew to keep her mouth shut or he’ll shut down._

_Zuko continued, still not making eye contact. “It’s poems by one of my favorites, Li-young Lee. His parents were exiled and for a long time his youth was spent moving,” he gave a sardonic smile, “shocking that his poems speak to me.”_

_Katara never regretted the decision, but she is still not sure what possessed her in that moment to ask, [maybe how attractive he looked bathed sunlight]_

_“Could you read one to me?”_

_A beat._

_Zuko blinks at her, incredulous after expecting mocking._

_“Yeah.” he clears his throat, “yeah.”_

_“I loved you before I was born._

_It doesn't make sense, I know._

_I saw your eyes before I had eyes to see._

_And I've lived longing_

_for your ever look ever since._

_That longing entered time as this body._

_And the longing grew as this body waxed._

_And the longing grows as the body wanes._

_The longing will outlive this body...”_

_She got lost in the cadence of his voice, wrapped in the warmth of the fading light._

_The spell is broken when she shivers as he finishes the second poem._

_Zuko notices the movement. He moves to get up and strips off his crewneck sweatshirt and hands it to Katara._

_“Put this on before the fog rolls in.”_

_She opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts her off._

_“Don’t you argue with me, you’re only wearing a t-shirt, and ‘the fog is a different kind of cold than the snow’” he says pointedly,” which you have attested to in the past.”_

_Grumbling, she acquiesces to his generosity. Logic winning out over pride. She gets up and throws on the crewneck, shocked at the softness and lingering warmth. She feels safe, wrapped in a hug from her friend. His scent lingering in her nose._

_While Zuko grabs his backpack and book, Katara takes a secret sniff._

_When Zuko finally looks back at Katara, the fabric bunched up exposing her arms, it hangs down reaching her mid-thighs. He’s visibly taken aback by the sight of her in his favorite sweatshirt._

_He can’t help but stare._

_Katara sees the look in his eyes change, to what she’s not sure, but she does have the sneaking suspicion that things will not be the same after today._

_He never officially got that sweatshirt back._

* * *

She throws the sweatshirt on. It’s no longer soft from age and smells like the apartment and their detergent, but the comfort is the same. 

Swiftly she grabs her next item of comfort, a blue blanket woven by her Gran-Gran. The swirling, complex, budding patterns of blues and greens formed a cocoon around Katara. Gran-Gran had woven this blanket while Kya was pregnant with Katara. She feels protected by the women in her family with this blanket, a shield against her fears of the unknown. 

A wave of sadness dispels Katara’s worry. All she wants to do is be able to call her mom. Hot tears threaten to spill over. 

_Just get it together before Zuko gets home. You can figure this out once you have your shit together._

Her chain of thought proves ironic when she hears the sound of keys in the door.

Shit.

He wasn’t supposed to be home for another half an hour. She furiously starts wiping at her face to remove any evidence of her inner turmoil. 

“Hello?” She can hear the door click closed and the shuffle of Zuko removing his shoes. 

“Things were pretty quiet today so I decided to leave early,” his voice quickly drops as Katara steps into view in the hallway, “and hopefully surprise you.” 

His face falls as she moves into the light of the living room. The easy smile and light air suddenly shift into concern and heavy silence. The afternoon casts a golden glow on Zuko, his scar looks softer in the lights as he stands by the door. Dressed in dress shirt and slacks from work, still looking impeccable even after riding public transit. 

Across the room, Katara stands bleary-eyed in sweats and her comfort blanket. 

Gently he asks her, “Hey, what’s up?”

She bursts into tears.

The sound of his socked feet on their floor is the only warning before he wraps her in his arms, cradling her against his chest. 

“Shhhhh… I've got you,” he whispers repeatedly into her hair, punctuated by the press of lips to the top of her head. Warm hands run soothing circles on her back. She closes her eyes and leans into the heat, Zuko acting as a shield from the bright afternoon sun. Being completely in the refuge of his love makes Katara want to start sobbing more. Which makes Zuko more concerned. 

After some time of this cycle, he finally is able to ask the question that has been eating at him, “Katara, what’s wrong?” 

She can hear the strain in his voice and can tell he’s holding back tears. He’s scared. 

“It’s okay. I promise. Just give me a minute,” came her muffled reply into the crook of his neck.

After some deep breaths, Katara places soft kisses on his neck, tasting the salty tears on her lips. She pulls back and presses her nose against his unscarred cheek, not brave enough to look him in the eye.

“Zuko,” her scratchy voice breaks the silence.

“I’m late.” 

The world goes still at the announcement.

“I missed my period last month, which never happens. And I’m too afraid to check.” Her words are barely a whisper against his skin. 

Katara’s heartbeat is ringing in her ears in the silence of the news. 

After what feels like an eternity Zuko leans down and whispers into her ear, barely audible, “what are you afraid of?’

She takes a shuddering breath. 

“Honestly, it's huge news anyway. But it’s really the practical things,” she explains. “It’s expensive beyond the medical bills alone. We live in a one-bedroom apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the world. We would have to move.” She is slowly gaining speed with her words as the panic builds. 

“Where are we going to move to? We need to find a nice neighborhood with good schools. I haven’t even thought about maternity leave and my job. And we aren’t even married. Which is fine,” she quickly amends. “But if something happens or goes wrong, you can’t make medical decisions for us.” 

She starts to get louder as she gets more irritated. “Not that I care about their opinion, but truly a shotgun wedding or a bastard baby will just fuel the flames for those misogynistic assholes back home.” 

She can’t trust her voice, cracking, as she unveils the root of her fears, “And I’ve been a mother all my life, but suddenly having it be real is so terrifying and I just want my mom to tell me it’ll be okay.”

She buries herself into his neck once again. He tightens his hold and Katara can hear the shift in his breathing to know Zuko is crying too. They hold each other close, mourning the loss of their mothers.

The steady thrum of his heart eases Katara back to a sense of peace. She focuses on how the rise and fall of his chest moves her. 

“Katara,” his voice raw, “no matter what, I love you. I will be by your side through it all.” He leans closer, lips on the shell of her ear, “And quite frankly, Pakku can eat shit if he has anything bad to say about it.” 

They both give breathy laughs at the sentiment, the sound ringing through the apartment. Her heart swells at his declaration, ‘our family.’

Finally, Katara pulls back to look at Zuko. She moves to gently wipe away the remaining tears off his cheeks with the pads of her thumb. She relishes in the soft and rough skin. The setting sun makes his glistening gold eyes burn brighter. The watery smile on his face is dazzling. 

_It’s going to be okay_.

He places his forehead to hers and tells her, “I am going to run to the store and get a frozen pizza and… a test.” He moves to stroke her cheek. “Why don’t you take a hot shower to relax and pick out a show or movie for us to watch when I get back.” 

All Katara can do is nod her head in affirmation, not trusting her voice. 

“Okay,” he kisses her forehead, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she gives him a small smile.

Zuko reluctantly lets her go to put on his shoes.

“I’ll be about 30 minutes. Call me if you need anything at all,” trying to keep it light, but concern creeping in. 

She gives him one last kiss before he’s out the door. She turns back to their empty apartment. 

The pictures on the wall, the red and blue throw pillows, the oblong bowl Zuko made for her in a pottery class that holds apples and pomegranates, the Southern Water Tribe carvings that hang above the window, and the traditional tea set Iroh had gifted them for their housewarming. All blanketed in the gold of the waning sun. 

Katara knew their life will never be the same.

**Author's Note:**

> So... what do y'all think the test is gonna say? How is Zuko gonna fair at the grocery store?
> 
> [I Loved You Before I Was Born](https://poets.org/poem/i-loved-you-i-was-born)
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@hakoda-in-a-hawaiian-shirt/](https://hakoda-in-a-hawaiian-shirt.tumblr.com/)


End file.
